Midnight Monologues : 5am thoughts

by - 7/04/2017 05:03:00 AM


 Well, it's not exactly midnight, but I've decided to start journaling again. As age catches up with me, I often find myself drawing a blank trying to remember certain moments, so I've decided to gather my treasure trove of memories and put them all here, so hopefully, I'll be able to look back and remember how I felt on this very day. Knowing myself, however, it's either a struggle not to babble or I'll be left feeling like I have nothing worth writing because my thoughts are all over the place. So bear with me, I'll try to slap them into submission and I pray that my writing will be as cohesive as I'd like for it to be.

Trawling the city

It's been awhile since I've actually gotten up this early, and I'll admit that it does feel quite refreshing; watching as the sun slowly rises above the horizon. Winter break is almost drawing to an end, and I never thought I'd say this, but I really am looking forward to Semester 2 and to learning again. I probably sound like a total nerd/book snob right now. Don't get me wrong, I love breaks! They give you time to recuperate from the horrors of exam week(s), but boredom sets in fairly quickly, too.

Maybe it's because I didn't plan any trips this year. I wanted to go skiing on Mount Buller but I didn't really have a budget for that. So, I decided to take up a casual planogramming job just for the heck of it and I must say, I'm enjoying it so far. Good pay is one thing, physical labor and organizing stuff is another - both help quell my restless soul but oh dear, I haven't stood for 15 hours straight since my days at Switch._. The soreness I feel right now is a reminder that I should probably get a desk job. I've actually tried that before, but I'm still unsure if that'll suit future me. I've already shot down my dreams of becoming a psychologist, but I'm still 2 semesters away from deciding what I must do with my life, so I'll leave that for later because I don't want to destroy the serenity of this beautiful morning by overthinking.

One thing I've noticed - It's oddly quiet, being up at this hour. I think I haven't been up since my midnight laundry runs back at Logan. I don't really have anyone to talk to because most people I know are still in bed, and since the move, I haven't kept in touch with anyone. Partially my fault, I guess. I just haven't put in the work in maintaining those relationships apart from a select few. Not that I mind though. I suppose as one grows older, you begin to reevaluate your circle and become a bit more picky about the people you choose to grow and surround yourself with. For me, I prioritise my happiness. Sure, it may sound like a selfish & self-centered move, but it's better for all parties that way. I can't save someone from drowning if I'm drowning too, right? Of course, I still love friends who can pick up right where we left off - If you're wondering.. you'll definately know them when you see them in my bridal party (lol).

Ah, yes. I recently found out that 'gillianong.com' has finally become available and I'm thinking about a domain change. Then again, I'll have to ask myself, is it really worth it? I also did think about retiring this blog, but I decided to revamp it instead. My readership has in fact, dwindled over my hiatus and I suppose people aren't into long, lengthy content like this anymore (I'm judging based on those 'bite sized 1 minute videos' you see on Facebook recommending cafes & unique places to visit etc). Granted, I should probably venture into Youtubing but something about it just doesn't jive with my personality. I'm already a little cringey about showing my face on Facebook live/Instastories so maybe in a couple more months, we'll see.

Well, I'd better wrap it up before you guys start dozing off! Time to grab breakfast and some coffee before work.
More soon.

With Love,
Gill x

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